I had an amazing weekend.
Lived at Javies from Friday to Sunday (today).
Spent Friday night at some rock night thing and nearly died when a certain person was onstage... D: why the hell did he have to perform.
It was like a nightmare for about about 20 minutes.
But it was amazing,
and Saturday was truly wonderful.
I love how my friends can turn sticks into songs and a joke we will never forget.
And during the whole weekend I had one person on my mind,
because he had to go and text me for hours.
And now I'm stuck in that stupid hole again.
But part of me wants to stay.
Because I don't mind getting hurt for him, because I want him to be happy since even though he is a complete idiot at times he is a really amazing friend to me.
And he is in the same category as the people I spent the weekend with.
So I'm not worried.
Stuffs looking good from where I am.
:)
And who gives a damn about 6 months.
I don't need it so much anymore, so at least I tried.

Oh and AK.org is open. <3
I missed it, and I didn't realise how much.

Is it odd that I wan't to be upset? The thing is..i have someone who will do anything to make sure i never cry again. But the thing is...I feel shit. And I feel bad that I do. And it's stupid. But I would never ever want them to stop keeping me happy.
Hmph.

My group won media day. And now half the form hates us because of jelousy. I am FED UP. I can't wait for school to be over, but I am so scared about next year. I don't want to grow up. ='[

Writers block questions from ages ago:

What song lyrics would you love to have written, and why?
This is possible the worst question to ask me 'cause I will droooone!
I want to scream until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson
I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep
So I don't have to make a bad impression
I need to start to be myself
Because I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here
And now I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me
I need to start to be myself
Because I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now
I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate
Broken Man - Boys Like Girls. Simply because it is an AMAZING song and really spoke to me in a time that I was so low.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

Well excuse me while I get killed softly,
Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay
At least 'til yesterday,
You know you got me off my highest guard,
Believe me when I say it's hard.
We'll get through this tonight
And I know one day you and I will be free

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Half Alive - Secondhand Serenade because this song made me cry once. Also these lyrics from Tested & True:
I never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're runing to
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

Now you've had your chance
So let's try my way, it's my day
To show you what you're missing, turn around
And feel the winds of change upon your face again
The warm breath of your closest friend
I'm waiting, I'm waiting

Are we fading? Because I still think of you often. And I don't want to see you cry like that ever again. But you're no longer my friend. So I don't care. Right?

And any of these Mayday Parade lyrics (I'm too lazy to find the songs they are from):

And we could sit around and cry but frankly your not worth it anymore
Because it's so true and it means so much.

cause i know I'm good for something i just haven't found it yet and i need it
I actually know what song these are all from. This one made me cry. I love it so much.

But this is the wrong night, so tell me goodnight and let it go
And you did.

Too proud to breath but all too scared to say the things worth saying.
I think this is honestly one of the most beautiful lines i have ever listened to.

well i'm thinking of the worst things
that i could say to you
but a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore
and this never will be right with me
and now you're trying to desperately
but i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say
About you again. I wish it wasn't so stupid.


Vampires or werewolves?
Twilight related? Vampires all the way. EDWARD CULLEN(L) yes, i am a geek.


Talk about a habit that you just cannot break.
Thought & "Fear" of change. Infact I think i've just got so used to not wanting change it's more habit than fear now.


If you were to die now, at this moment, what would you think of as the best thing you've ever done in your life?
I actually love this question. The thing is, i have NO idea how to answer it. Best thing i've ever done...OH i know. Lasted 51 days so far without self harming. And if I was to die, i would die knowing I didn't cause it. It wasn't me. It was fait/God/the unieverse/whatever you believe in. And that is the most amazing feeling in the world.


What gives you hope for your future? How about hope for your world's future? Is hope hard to maintain?
Every day gives me hope. Every minute I don't cut gives me hope. Every hug. Every 'i love you'. Every 'i'm so glad you're my friend'. Every 'You inspire me'. Every tear. Every memory. Every smile. Every song. Every new thing.
Hope is the hardest thing to maintain. But you need it.

Earlier in the week I started to write a blog. I've decided I don't want it on the site but I want it here (click link). Sorry for the long post.

http://acidkills.org/x/?p=8

Password is pastpresentfuture